the Quiet Islingtonian
Nigel Farage rightly advised the British People that its not about Left or Right – but about Right or Wrong. And just as in Graham Greene’s novel – the idealist searches for a 3rd way. Is this such a bad idea?
And hadn’t UKIP on both left and right of the libertarian persuasion, the Tories on the ideologue right and the Labour Party in the fake centre get used to the idea that someone standing for a stare run transport network, happy to borrow to invest in infrastructure projects, and committed to affordable housing not present a genuine Third Way?
Trying to call him a Marxist hasn’t slowed his pace of pickup, neither have Bennite slurs. The rest have missed his simplest trick – he is JUST DIFFERENT to the other bland faceless PPE students.
Moreover lets face it – he’s the only one who hasn’t lied his way to the top of the greasey pole. Unlike Leicester Liz from Watford, Northern Cooper from Southampton and when it comes to the previous Media proclaimed Unions favourite, the charming little
Andy Burnham, the biggest Blackburn Rovers fan they never knew they had – until GE2015 that is. How fast has he been abandoning responsibility for the failed Labour campaign that he was at least 25% responsible for 3 months ago! Shocking
It is fashionable to slag off JC as his devotees now refer to him. But he will go jolly close next month to being the first radical, man of integrity not controlled by the US and not wedded to the idea of fighting other people’s wars for no discernible benefit. On a good day he is nearly as convincing as Our Great Leader himself.
Supporters of other parties – be careful what you wish for – or even pay £3 to vote for – as you may just be the turkey committed to an early, all the trimming Christmas dinner.
The gap over the 3 flakes may now just be too large for them to reel back in, and with Leicester Liz from Watford refusing to fall on Cooper’s sword, she should end up giving it to Dianne Abbott and George Galloway’s new best mate.
Reproduced below a hypothetical conversation between a newspaper owner who may or may not be Australian and a Red Top editor who may or may not have emerged from the gutter of show-biz reporting:
Big Ed: Editor (or possibly owner) of almost all newspapers. Tristram: lowly paid RedTop editor. Privately educated, Journalist of the future, trying to forget his Bizarre past…
BE: looks like the LP leadership is nicely sewn up for the next few years, That Burnham fellow will probably have to be brought down, a bit chippy for my liking, and what a ghastly accent, but once we’ve done that we’re sorted.
T: Er, Sir, there’s this Corbyn character who could still get nominated… BE: don’t be stupid, son, he’s a loser, no chance, just keep saying he’s a loser and he’ll fail.
(A week Later)
BE: How the hell did he get on the ballot? Anyway, no one takes his sort seriously, I mean they’re yesterday’s people, and he’s no experience, he’ll soon blow it – I bet he doesn’t even have access to a decent focus group. Still, being nominated means the LP can pretend to have a debate. We’d better run a couple of in depth analyses of him, you know son, his beard, his sandals, his age, his T-shirt, lack of Oxbridge education, no support…
T: Er, that might not be enough sir, quite a lot of Constituency Parties and big Unions seem to be for him…
BE: (Shouting) Unions, well that makes him completely unpopular, everyone hates them; OK add that he’s in the pockets of the union barons for good measure. Don’t forget, he’s got no chance and the Tories are loving it.
(A couple of weeks later)
T: (Very worried) Sir, you remember that no-hoper Corbyn? Well YouGov have him in the winning on second preferences…
BE: What the hell have you been doing? If you can’t destroy a loony lefty like him you have no chance of becoming an objective journalist. Looks like I’ll have to phone round
myself. Hello Tony (Neil, Jack, Peter, Broon, David M, David B…) can you make a hard hitting speech telling everyone how that Corbyn fellow will be a complete failure because nobody likes him; and how he’ll destroy your beloved party because you’ll do an SDP.
BE: See, when the big guns start firing these little people soon get sorted. How’s it going now Tristram? I particularly liked the bit about needing a heart transplant. And that was a nice touch from Mrs Balls telling them to vote for her because she’s a woman. And the stuff about his supporters being unpleasant on line shows how 21st century we are.
T: (With much more confidence) Well, he’s now ahead so much he doesn’t need second preference votes, he’ll probably win the full-members part, and women are favoring him overwhelmingly. His meeting all across the country are so packed out even the overspill has an overspill. I actually got out of the office last night and went to one, yes, sir, I know you told me never to allow reality into here, but it was really very interesting…
BE: Enough, get the smear machine up and running. OK, his expenses seem fine, damn; he’s not a Welsh windbag, and we’ve already tried to get him on his clothes (I always liked that donkey jacket scam years ago), he’s not a dour Scot, his father wasn’t a Jewish intellectual… ah, Jewish, there we are, he disapproves of Israel killing Arab civilians, how low can you get. We need to play this carefully, get that Cathy Newman woman, you know, the one who made up the story about the mosque being beastly to her, to find some Jew-haters he once spoke to, that way we can run stories headed Corbyn denies being anti-Semitic. What a lovely catch-22.
BE: Still not worked, OK, next shot: Corbyn eats babies for breakfast, and has been tied back to the weapons of mass-destruction dossier Tony signed off by mistake
T: Unlikely, he’s vegetarian. In any case, I’m leaving for a job on the New Statesman. Jez has offered me a role in his Social Media team too…. did you get that 100/1 available on Betfair last month…???